Little known facts about Andreeew's hot-nisity: Those living near Andreeew, especially young children and the elderly, are encouraged to limit their exposure and stay indoors when possible. It was long thought that one could find a picture of Andreeew beside the definition of hot in many dictionaries. These claims are of course patently absurd - it is widely known that even a picture of Andreeew is capable of igniting paper, and there are no dictionaries printed upon paper made from asbestos pulp or similar less-flammable materials. Salsa at restaurants and grocers everywhere is now available in three varieties - mild, medium and Andreeew. It is wise to wear only natural fibers (if anything) in Andreeew's presence. When engulfed in flame, synthetics tend to leave an unpleasant odor and bond to skin. Using only the considerable heat generated by his body, Andreeew once saved a man from death by hypothermia - entirely unbeknown to him and from a distance of over three miles. Al Gore's second feature-length documentary, "A Smoking Hot Truth," examines controversial evidence linking Andreeew to rapid melting of the polar ice caps. Andreeew has never seen snow, nor ice. Both are as mysterious to him as his impossibly good looks are to you and me.