ashleytragic

In a simple sense, my name is Ashley. [:

i'm new.

As a young child I always looked at things with the best light. Everything was beautiful All were flawless. I was happy and never suffered. I admired the beauty in everything. I believe that life should still be that way. I believe that people should stop and take the time to smell flowers. I have suffered. Life has been far from perfect. I have battled things that you could not belive, Suicide, Depression, Heartbreak, loss. All of these things have made me stronger. I am sick of living my life as a depressed and unhappy person. God made me stronger than that. I want to be happy. I want to live like I am dying and I want to measure my life by the things that take my breath away. Not by how many breaths I take. I want to feel renewed. I want to be happy and I want to be sure of my life and my future. I was born to help atleast one person. And I am going places to acheive this goal. Life is too short to be depressed all the time. So live each day like it is your last. You will regret not. Life isn't going to last forever. Live it to the fullest.

Right now I am single....I'm starting to fall in love. I've met the boy that makes my heart race and my knees buckle.. He completely fits my standards and I can truly be my goofy self around him. He's truly amazing, but he's with someone else, so i will wait however long it takes.<3

I am far from perfect. I realize that I am very flawed. I am not happy with myself or my body. I am incredibly insecure yet I am very vain. I admit, I am shallow. I won't lie. But I try not to base my views of people based on beauty or looks. I try not to judge. Usually the best of people are the ones that arn't beautiful, the ones that are just themselves. Unlike many people I have a heart. I have a hard time being cruel to a person unless they deserve it or if I am playing. But if you do something to make me mad or hurt me then I will call you out for it and I will make you pay for it. I'm Not Gorgeous. If you break my heart or trust, chances are I will NEVER talk to you again or I will never forgive you. Don't risk it. If you hurt me once shame on you, if you hurt me twice shame on me. I will make sure that it doesn't happen twice. I press snooze exactly 4 times every morning, before unwillingly dragging myself out of bed. I eat ice cream directly from the carton. I crinkle my nose when it itches. I get cold rather easily, and you'll usually find me bunched up on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, sipping on some tea, this time of year. I look at the moon, every night before I doze off, and it helps keep my mind at peace. I cannot close my mouth when applying mascara, and I can't go a day without unintentionally hurting myself, due to clumsiness.

I rather go for a walk, than watch the television. I rather dance in the rain than sit by a fire. I live for the little moments in life, the ones that actually count; the ones that make each day worth living. I live for making other people happy, and seeing them succeed, and smile. I live for the sunny afternoon days, laying in a meadow, and talking about the every day quirks of life. I live for the moment, and try not to get too caught up on worrying about the future. Every day is a gift.

Perfection isn't something anyone is born with. It isn't something that you can grow into, grow up to be- and it certainly isn't something you will die with. The most we can do is try to reach that ultimate beauty, but by then we will have killed ourselves in our own attempt. Beauty in itself is flawed. The meaning has discintigrated over generations. There are very few people that I know who are truely beautiful. Kind, honest, caring, heart warming human beings. The pure. They are the ones who are perfect.