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Something You Should Know About Me
I'm Dot, I'm from Des Moines, and that's all you need to know. biznatch. At lunch, instead of eating in the cafeteria, I sit in my car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at people passing by. I page myself on the intercom but I don't disguise my voice. Every time someone asks me to do something, I ask if they want fries with that. I moo when people say my name. When i am showering I scream "I'M DROWNING!!!". I try to swim on the floor. I have 20 imaginary friends that talk at the same time. I talk to pens. In the memo field of all my checks, I write "for (insert random illegal drug name here)". I order diet water when I go out to eat. At drive-throughs I make sure they know that I want my order to go. Five days in advance, I will notify friends I can't go to their party because I have a headache. When the money comes out of the ATM I yell "I WON!! I WON!!!!". When I leave the zoo, I run like a maniac and yell "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEIR LOOSE!!!!!". Over dinner, I tell my friends "Due to the economy, I'm going to have to let one of you guys go.". I ask people what sex they are then laugh hysterically. I allow it sunshine and walk it three times a day. I go to the foot doctor weekly so that Tony the magical pixie in my foot gets checkups. I have diplomatic immunity based on my position as Princess of Canada. I put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch. IRSMART. I look in my bag and talk to my friends in there. I stare at people and smile for a while before announcing to them that I am wearing new socks. I meow when class gets silent. When i get in an elevator I accidentally lean against the button panel. I carry a stethoscope around. I laugh hysterically for a few minutes then look at people around me like they are crazy. Also, when class is silent, I say 'I must find a new host body." in a demonic voice. I talk to people through my puppet. I stand in elevators and ask people what floor they are going to, then purposely push the wrong one, so that when they correct me I can yell at them for not letting me do my job. Or when they tell me their floor, I look at them with disgust, say "You ought to be ashamed of yourself" then storm out of the elevator. If I don't do either of those, I ask them "Is that your final answer, before pressing the button. I charge people a dollar and 37 cents to use the sidewalk in front of my house. I'm sick of hearing how everyone's odd, weird, crazy, random and strange. So just to be different, I'm plain, boring, and average. I LOVE music. I listen to lots of different kinds, but mostly metal and rock, I would die without music and my friends. Seriously.
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