| I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Fashion critics worldwide swoon over my original line of evening wear. I don't perspire. I am an expert in poker, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I am the subject of numerous award-winning documentaries. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. I bat .400. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket, and can guess the total within a dollar. Poets regularly plagiarize my thoughts. I'm a fucking surgeon with a shotgun and I can bake 20 minute brownies in 10 minutes. I have my own cavalry. Your mom trusts me, and your dad wishes I was his son. |
