Something You Should Know About Me

My name is Lauren but I don't like my name so you can call me whatever you want. I'm 15 years old and my birthday is on the 17th of May; I'm a Taurus. I honestly think most people take me for granted. I've been through a lot, so don't tell me I don't understand. If I tell you something, don't ask me if I really mean it or not because if I said it to you, then I meant it. People say I resemble Amy Lee, the singer of Evanescence. I am below average height. I cross my legs like a dude. If you're funny, I’ll definitely like you. I like trying new things. I love meeting new people. I'm really, very opinionated. I act on impulse and I don't always think before I speak; that was your warning. I can have a good time no matter where I am. I am down-to-earth; or so I’ve been told. I tend to say some harsh things when I'm mad. I have nothing but patience. I always need to have the last word in an argument. I finish every fight...well, almost every fight. My trust is hard to gain once you've lost it, but I am usually very forgiving. I admit when I am wrong. I own up to my mistakes, and trust me I've made plenty. I believe I am living proof that people can better themselves. I've been told my expectations are kind of high, but I don't think that they are. When I try to improve, I eventually do. I'm not stuck up nor am I not conceited. I pretty much tell things how they are. If you can't handle the truth don't ask for it. People say i'm funny, most of the time I don’t even try to be funny. Alot of the time, I do exaggerate the things I say. I always apologize whether I did something wrong or not. I hate false accusations. Talking tough on the internet does not make me scared of you under any condition. I shall give credit when credit is due. I don't like to drag things on. I hate having to repeat myself. It usually takes a lot to impress me. I often look back on my past. I want a time machine more than anything else right now. I never talk behind anyone’s back unless I’m saying something nice. I love how people say things behind my back and expect to get away with it. Most things that I say (or do) will make your jaw drop. I find out everything. You can’t hide anything from me. I mean it. I learn quickly; I forget quicker. I protect and take care of my friends. I'm not a push over. I’m obviously defensive. I can surely take care of myself. I don't like when people contradict themselves. I get frustrated easily. I can’t stand people who are so constantly spewing pessimistic bullshit. I never want to lose touch with my friends. I'm extremely proud of who I've become. I’m still a kid, so I’m going to act like one while I can. I actually care about other people's feelings more than my own. I humour the people who strive for attention. I hate drama, and the people who go looking for it. I feel bad for the people who say that they don't have any regrets, that would be that they haven't learned anything. I am the complete opposite of shy. I will never forget you, you have my word. I hardly ever hold grudges, but when I do, that means you've really hurt me. I don't think I've ever done anything unforgivable unless you're a grudge-holder yourself. If I don't like you then I'll be crystal clear about it. I don't play guessing games. I don’t even like being given hints. I’m stubborn. I don't want to forget my past unlike everyone else. It made me who I am today. I find almost everything amusing. My temper will sometimes get the best of me. I smile all the time without realizing it; but I don’t like my smile. I used to get into a lot of trouble, but I mellowed out some. You have to give me a reason to dislike you. When I start talking, I can’t stop. I'm a wishful thinker. I like when people try to get my attention, but it comes unwillingly. I don't want my life drawn out in permanent marker. I want to take life how it comes. I'll play every card I get. I'm gullible, and it's a curse. I'm sarcastic sometimes. I don't lie; the only people I could hate are liars. I will not tolerate being called a liar. I most certainly don't steal, and won't stand for being called a thief either. I have a hard time making decisions. I have major trust issues. I love receiving compliments, although I'll usually respond with "Liar" or "Shut up" but don't let that stop you. I do get insulted a lot just the same but people just have nothing better to do. I never take the easy way out of anything. Most of the time, I can't stand being alone. Sometimes, all I want is to just be alone. My gut feelings are usually right. I honestly dislike when people label me; I’m not a product, I’m a human being just like you. I'm a very open person and appreciate when people want to know more about me so if you're in an inquisitive mood, feel free to ask me what you want. I usually don’t care what people think about me; everyone has their opinions but I'd rather you keep it to yourself. I will talk to you, listen to you, be there for you, help you, whenever you need me to. I'm a loyal person and friend and lover. There's no one in the world like me.
I live my life the way I want to live it. Usually, I’m living in the moment. I do the best I can to only think about what is happening in the present time. I try not to worry about the past, though it does of course come up every now and then. To me, the past is something to learn from, not dwell over. If I’m thinking about the past, I try to remember the good times so I just smile and laugh. If I’m thinking about a bad time, I just remember that it’s done and over with, and the mistakes I made then I’ll try never to make again. I just find that I am a lot happier when worrying about the present time and the present time only. If I’m getting ready in the morning, I make the best of it. Dancing and singing while I’m putting my makeup on and doing my hair. If I’m with a friend, I make jokes with them and try to laugh until I can’t breathe. If I do happen to be sad about something, I let myself be sad. I cry as much as I need to until I can truly accept what I’m upset about and move on. People have different beliefs on the reason to life, or if there really even is a reason. I have accepted that while I’m alive I will not figure it out. What’s the point, trying to figure out what your purpose is in life? I believe my purpose in life is to live. It’s as simple as that. I’ll do anything and everything I can in this life as long as it makes me happy. If I never get married, have kids, see the world, have money out the wazoo, or whatever else you think a person should do or have in their lifetime, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with my life as long as I can be happy no matter where I am and what I’m doing. I could die tomorrow. Hell, I could die in the next hour. So why worry about my past? Why worry about my future? I’ve realized that life isn’t about the past, or the future. Your future might not even exist for all you know, so why worry about it? Your past is done and over with, so why the fuck are you still crying about it? I’m alive, right now, in this moment. I could be making a mistake, I could be doing the best thing I’ll ever do in my life, I could be happy, I could be sad, I could be anything, but I’m alive, and hopefully well.
My self image is not anywhere near conceited. I hardly ever find myself attractive. But yet I feel like everyone should just be nice to me. My self esteem is fucked. I'm not shallow or lack any sort of depth in the least. Looks to me are the least of things that concern me as a whole. I would rather pay attention to the detail instead of the whole picture. I am a hopeless romantic. I fall so quick for one to capture my heart. It, of course is a bad thing and I'll just end up hurt in the end. Is that wrong though? To be willing to go in blind for a moment of happiness? Probably. I don't care. But just as fast as I can fall for someone, I can hate just as quick. My hate is probably just as strong if not stronger than the love inside of me. My problem is, is that I tend to look past all that. But you don't know me. You don't know what I would do to satisfy that dark hatred breeding inside of me.
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