First and foremost, I'm the best friend you'll ever have, the worst enemy you'll ever have, and the most complicated person you'll ever know. I don't have very many close friends because I don't see a point in opening up to people. I've learnt from past experience that opening up to a person only makes you vulnerable to emotional humiliation and pain. I'm a very simple person, yet complex. The only thing that makes me sometimes confused is looking at the way other people live their lives and thinking about their expectations of me. I've changed so much as a person over the past few months due to me trying to making other people happy. I am a firm believer that everyone's happiness lays within themselves. That in actuality, we really do create our own happiness. Nothing can ever make you happy but yourself, it's all a state of mind. Don't ever rely on somebody else to make you happy, in time they will only let you down. One thing you have to learn is, that we as humans seem to find it easier to confide in strangers more than those we hold close, for the reason that we fear the ones we know will judge us and abandon us because of what we need to say, whereas a stranger is someone who it doesn't matter what they think, they could provide answers or they could leave and provide no loss. I often catch myself stumbling on memories. But what I have is hope and faith; believing that things do get better and will get better. The first, and probably the hardest, step would be to accept the things you cannot change but in turn have hope for what lies ahead. I'm very good at reading people, i look around at all the people i have in my life at the moment and I don't think that any of them are worthy of getting to know me anymore then through a light conversation. I've enough friends, they are irreplaceable. I love them like family. They are an important reason why my life is great. Pain comes in all forms. The small tinge. A bit of soreness. The random pain. The normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out anything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it. And for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope that the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes the pain gets to you when you least expect it. It's way below the belt and doesn't let up. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always makes more. I'll give everyone a chance whatever the cliché you fit in to. Blow that chance and I'll make no effort in being friendly towards you. Sounds arrogant? Well I'm sure you'd agree that if someone was a complete moron you're not going to feel the need to be nice to them. A lot of people would say or think that I'm vain. The definition of vanity is excessive pride & I genuinely don't think I have anything out of the ordinary to be proud about. I will admit however that I do strive to look good. I'm not happy with having the traits of a teenager like greasy hair or bad skin. I will do whatever I can to prevent it. It's better for everyone if I look good as I'll feel good which makes me happier thus making me a nicer person. I'll either be one of two extremes, confident and talkative or shy and withdrawn. I guess I really need to find a balance... What's your impression so far then? I find it difficult to express myself and to show people through my profile who I am. I get so irritated by people who pretend to be really bold and opinionated and then you meet them and they're quiet and withdrawn. I'm probably not portraying myself accurately right now but I do change my opinions and feelings alter a lot so I'll write something one week and think the opposite the next. It's complicated. I'm complicated. Then again, I'm really basic in some ways. Leave a comment & maybe we'll get to know each other a little better. Brace yourself for miracles; you're in for a nasty shock. <33333333 </center> |
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