froginmythroat

I have been through more than one person should face this day and age...but that don't make me any worse off than anyone else...I lost 2 daughters to adoption...I lost a daughter who died of HLHS and Turner syndrome (Sept.2-3,2008)...I lost my mother 4 months after my daughter who died, to skin cancer (Jan 19, 2009)...and recently gave birth to a stillborn son (March 18, 2011)...I have been told I have a liver lesion 1cm in size...I don't understand what this means...or what is in store for me...but My blessings are I am married to the most wonderful man I could have ever dreamed of....I have 2 sons who yes are challenging...they are kids born in this century they are going to be difficult...but I am trying to be a better mother to them since my losses have overwhelmed me so much so that its brought me to just be thankful for what I do have and then maybe I can have one last healthy baby before I get my tubes tied... I am not sure what God wants to do with my story...but I know he is working in my life and has been throughout these trials I have faced...anyways look forward in getting to know some people on here as well as maybe getting a bible study started or something for mourning parents I just don't know if I am going to be dedicated enough to finish what I start cause I have never finished anything I have started...at least without constant assurance that I can do it...and that I am doing great at what I am doing...anyways I hope to have some friends in the end of my stickam experience...though I am already annoyed by the ads that they have all over the place grr....things have really changed since I was on here last...that makes me mad...but OH well I think its better than blogtv cause they don't error as often at least I dont think they do...who knows though... my youtube is located at http://www.youtube.com/user/RabekaJo if you would like to see my vlogs as well as my picture slide show of my daughter who passed...I soon will be posting a picture memorial slide show of our son....May God keep your hearts light and your feet firmly planted on the ground if you do view these very emotional videos...ttyl