I should probably first explain that I'm from Oxford, England but through a mix of random circumstance and poor judgment on my part I have ended up in Houston, Texas where my 'funny' accent and quaint olde worlde ways have become the basis for a currently-in-development Hollywood musical.
I was told, when I arrived in the US of A last year, that the two things one should never discuss in polite company are politics and religion. With that in mind, you won't find me going on about those cocksuckers, the Republicans, or how absurd the idea of am intelligent 'creator' of the universe is on this page. Nosireebob.
I usually prefer to introduce myself, in a smug yet vaguely charming, way as an Existential Athiest although, frankly, I'm probably as clueless as you regarding the meaning of that.The great thing about Describing yourself thus is you don't really have to explain what it means. And if you do explain it, and you get it wrong nobody can really contradict you. I can be seen, roaming the streets of Houston, with a copy of Camus' The Outsider or the collected works of Kafka under my arm and a rather effeminate gait to my step. In reality, of course, I'm more of a Japanese schoolgirl trapped in the body of an Anglo-American. Except, I don't sell my panties for resale in vending machines in the seedier parts of Shinjuku. If anyone wants to buy a pair of, slighty soiled, Y-fronts however I'm open to negotiation. God knows, I could do with the money. Will this do?
I am Here for:
I don't know, what are you offering?
Hobbies:
Obscure Japanese films of the 1950's, Attempting suicide (although, given my lack of success they're either 'cries for help' or I'm indestructable), Writing vaguely threatening letters to Lindsey Lohan requesting her to abstain from leaving me coded messages in her movies, Christian-baiting, Republican-baiting, Visiting my lawyer in regards to the restraining order that Lindsey Lohans 'people' have issued on me, Dating insane, fucked-up women and then regretting it big-time, collecting rare first edition illustrated books of naked families playing volleyball, good wine, fast women, intelligent books, cheap porn.
Favorite Movies:
Chunking Express, Hana-bi, Ikiru, Tokyo Monogatari, The Story of O-Haru, Redbeard, Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, Rahomon, Ai no Corrida, Ai no Borei, La Jetee, Sans Soleil, Breathless (Godard), La Belle et Le Bete, Rushmore... Kontroll, Hukkle, A Tanu, Satantango, Closely Observed Trains, Alice (Svankmajer), One Upon A Time In China 2, The Bride With White Hair, Heroic Trio, I Heart Huckabees, Sonatine, San Tai Yon X Ju-Gatsu, Eraserhead, A Touch Of Zen, Day For Night, Alphaville, Orphee... Battle Royale, Battles Without Honor Or Humanity, GoJin, Kids Return, Nosferatu (Murnau), Potemkin, Oktober, Ivan The Terrible ptI, Dracula (1958), Metropolis (Lang), Kiki's Delivery Service, Tonari no Totoro, Innocence, Withnail and I, This Is Spinal Tap, Salo, The Third Man, The Searchers, Exterminating Angel, Un Chien Andalou, L'age D'or, Discrete Charm of the Bourgiouse, Picnic At Hanging Rock, The Last Wave, The Man Who Fell To Earth, Masque Of The Red Death (Corman), The Wicker Man (Hardy) ShuryukiHime (Lady Snowblood), The Magnificent Ambersons, Waking Life, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, BottleRocket, Apocalypse Now, Hearts of Darkness: A Film Makers Apocalypse, Capturing The Friedmans, Titicut Follies... Don't Look Now, Ringu, Audition, Onibaba, The Eye, Adventures of Baron Munchausen (Gilliam), Time Bandits, Brazil, an awful lots more....
Favorite TV Shows:
Spaced, Peep Show, Extras, Battlestar Galactica, Brass Eye, Mitchell And Webb, Doctor Who, Phoenix Nights, Bullshit!, Alan Partridge....etc.
Favorite Music:
In no particular order: Laurie Anderson, Leonard Cohen, Warren Zevon, L'arc-en-Ciel, The Clash, Shonen Knife, Yann Tiersen, The Streets, Artic Monkeys, Yellow Magic Orchestra, Joe Hisaishi, Kenji Kawai, Yoko Kanno, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Soft Boys, Brian Wilson, Scissor Sisters, Shang Shang Typhoon, The Boredoms, Guitar Wolf, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, The Band, Talking Heads, David Byrne, Sex Pistols, The Smiths, Morrissey, Cat Stevens, Barenaked Ladies, Ape Sex, Sonic DeathMonkey, Beach Boys, Beatles, The Cure, Billy Bragg, Pizzicato Five, Hyde, Gackt, Sons Of All Pussy, Aimee Mann, Liz Phair, Nick Drake, Soft Boys, Robyn Hitchcock, The Egyptians, The Verve, Blue, Pulp, Gorillaz, Frank Chickens, NEO, Marta Sebestyen, Muzsikas, Joy Division, The Decemberists etc. Makes me wish I hadn't dropped my iPod down a mountain in Romania now.
Favorite Books:
The Good Soldier - Ford Madox Ford, Frankenstein - Mary Shelly, Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad, Iliad and Odyssey - Homer, Gargatua and Pantagruel - Rablais, Justine - Marquis de Sade, Prague - Arthur Phillips, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through The Looking Glass - Lewis Carrol, Huck Finn - Mark Twain, For Whom The Bell Tolls - Ernest Hemmingway, Nova Express - William S Burroughs, A Confederacy Of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole, L'etranger - Albert Camus, The Trial - Franz Kafka, A Little Hungarian Pornography - Peter Eszterhazy, Death and the Penguin - Andrey Kurkov, Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer, The Plague - Albert Camus, Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco, Nights At The Circus - Angela Carter, Sputnik Sweetheart - Haruki Murakami, The Man in the High Castle - Philip K Dick, Vermillion Sands - JG Ballard, Dancers At The End Of Time - Michael Moorcock, Hawksmoor - Peter Ackroyd, Saturday - Ian McEwan, His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Post Office - Charles Bukowski, Almost Transparent Blue - Ryu Murakami, The Summer Book - Tove Jannsen, Under The Frog - Tibor Fischer. Many, many more. Anything that isn't Danielle Steele or Dan 'fucking' Brown, basically. If the masturbation doesn't make me go blind the reading will.
I Love:
the smell of stale urine in the morning. It smells like...victory.
I Hate:
Right wing Christian fundamentalist scumbags who preach about their 'God of love' but maintain that homosexuals should not have the same rights as the rest of us, women should not be allowed to have abortions, stem cell research is wrong and that anyone who doesn't believe as they do cannot be an ethical person.
And Phil Collins. What a cunt.
