hotdogcolors

*I was in a Girl Scout Cookie commercial in 2nd grade. I was paid in cookies. *I have been arrested once, for trying to inspect a missile plant for weapons of mass destruction. I rode to jail on a schoolbus, and I spent two hours behind bars. *My middle name comes from my mom's childhood dog, who was named after a cartoon character. *Al Franken called my dorm room in my freshman year in college. *I've touched Wee Man (fuck, did I just brag about that?) *I have been to 25/99 counties in Iowa. *I stood in for a groom at a wedding once. *I have a strange fetish that involves state capitol buildings. If you're lucky, I can tell you some stories about it. ;) If you're luckier, you can help me check a few more off my list. *I was in a play once. But it wasn't really a play. *I saw Rick Perry in his jogging clothes once. I've shaken hands with Ann Richards, Bill Clinton, and John Edwards. I went drinking with Dave Attell once. Sort of. *I once had dinner with one of the guys from Milli Vanilli. *I write Devanagari (Hindi characters) functionally. I speak Hindi very poorly. *I have gone mudding. *I ran into Roy Oswalt and Chad Qualls at a country bar. *The closest I've come to a near-death experience was in a taxi cab on my way back from a Backstreet Boys concert. *I've gotten lucky in Kentucky. *I have total joke-telling immunity. *I love my pussycat, but I like to have the vet shave everything on her except the poof at the end of her tail. One of these days she will kill me. *I love Texas and almost all Texans, but I do not like George W. Bush!