I’ve lost a lot of family and friends,
People I thought would be here till the end,
They were all like my next of kin,
One homeboy was shot by his brother,
Why couldn’t it have been another,
I’m still searching for the answers,
When my grandpa died from cancer,
My cousin was ejected from his truck,
Wouldn’t ya know that would be his luck,
Another homeboy was ejected from his SUV,
Damn was all that really meant to be,
Couldn’t he just leaves things alone,
Did he have to call them all home,
What is the truth I’d really like to know,
Please show me so I can go with the flow,
I know I was suppose to be stronger,
Weren’t they to be here a little longer,
Watched them bein loaded into a hearse,
I didn’t know how much things really hurt,
Not until I saw that first shovel or dirt,
Speakin what was to be my last words,
That moment on would be the very last time,
From then on nothing would ever be just fine,
They will always be just a memory of mine,
And everyone tells me to give it time,
But that will never fix this pain inside,
I’m gonna end up dyin in my prime,
I won’t have the opportunity to shine,
None of them deserved to die so soon,
It wasn’t like they were over due,
Now here I sit starin’ at the moon,
Not sure if I’m gonna make it through,
This has caused a lot of stress on me,
Soon you may see me restin in peace,
I hope you have prepared a nice speech,
Can’t you see I don’t believe this reality,
I know I’m hostile I find it hard to smile,
Same as you without their number to dial,
I have my days where I stare out my window,
Sittin back watchin the wind blowin,
Thinking bout getting myself prepared,
I ain’t scared we’ll see if they really cared,
Nah forget that I’ma take a step back,
I know there have been a lot of facts,
But this ain’t the time to react,
I don’t need to be layin in a casket,
I don’t want people to be askin,
I need to refrain from all the pain,
Granted what would I gain,
Things will never be the same,
It’s a shame their names is all that remains,
But in my mind it’s them living in fame,
Their spirit has been elevated,
Anniversaries are about to be celebrated,
They’ve allowed me to see another side,
Makes you wonder why I’m still alive,
I thought it was a crime to never let go,
Found another way for me to show,
People don’t know it is hard to grow,
One thing’s for sure ain’t no easy cure,
Mixed feelings will always want to stir,
I’ma tell them all with my final words,
I ain’t scurred to stand proud and tall,
One dub to the sky I love you all!