There Are Two Sides Of Chaos--A Side Of Light And A Side Of Darkness. Good And Evil, Life And Death, Love And Hatred; Two Sides Of Conflicting Views, Trapped In A Neverending Battle For Supremacy...What Is It That Lies Between Them?

A man's life is but 50 years. It is but a dream - an illusion in the great order of things. None given life in this world can escape destruction. So my life has come to an end, but the end of everything is only the beginning of everything ~ Oda Nobunaga

I am too lethargic and unreliable to help with this pretty little havoc humans have created. And yet, they all need me to fulfill their stupid goals and ambitions. What am I really but the one standing behind the stage and watching their every dumb move; a mediator of sorts, one may say. It takes quite a huge amount persuasion in order for me to help them. And when I do help them, things end up horrible, from every possible way one may look at it. Long story short, I am a god of some sort.

First off, I'm GAY. Meaning I like guys, and I have no qualms about it. Although I will still flirt with girls & such, boys are more my style. Get over yourselves. Now that we got that bit of info out of the way, let's move on to more interesting things ;] To some I'm crazy; Others know me as random & loud; And still others know me as charming & romantic. All of those things are only a small fraction of who I truly am. Ready to trip out?

I'm Trevor Shawn Elia, and if you haven't heard of me, well then today is your lucky day! Don't call me Travis if you value your life, k? Or 'Trever' *shudders*. I hate having things misspelled. ESPECIALLY my name. Got it? When it comes to writing or speech, I can be a perfectionist. Don't talk to me and type like tHiS, or THIS, thizzz..We're not a bunch of 3rd graders I hope. Maybe mentality wise =p

It isn't hard to impress me, just be yourself, that is all I ask for.

Yes, I AM part black. The rest of me is French, Irish, German, Norwegian, Danish & British. I don't act a certain race at all, though. How exactly do you act like a particular race, anyways? I act like myself, because I don't like labels. Labels only hold us back, and keep us in specific roles, keeping everything in a box. I like being outside of said box. So respect me for being me!

I'm too old to be called a boy, yet too young to be called a man. I'm 19, gonna be *counts fingers & toes* 20 on September 16th. That means I haven't killed myself, kiddies! But I am still young at heart. Meaning I'll play hide-n-go seek at Wal-Mart because it is damn good fun, even though finding places to hide is still a bitch! I'm enjoying my youth while I can, because I've heard so many people say "Oh, I should have done this when I was young.." Don't worry, folks. I'm sure to do it for you and live the memory =] I say you only live once, unless you believe in the concept of Reincarnation. So that'd mean you live multiple times & keep fucking up? Wow. Some people need to get it right the first time. Got it memorized?

I can be absolutely blunt at times. It's not that I am heartless or emotionless or anything like that, it's just that I have to get right to the point so that nothing feels left unsaid, if that makes sense? So if you catch me at one of my blunt times, I apologize beforehand.

Being different than everyone else is a great thing! NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise. I strive for eccentricity. I'm optimistic, pessimistic, hedonistic. You may think you know me, but you don't. I blend in with crowds and can converse on many levels. I'm very down-to-earth, 'cause I like having friends as opposed to enemies. I am a simple person, yet to many I remain a mystery.

Some kids these days seek attention by cutting themselves. You want to know my stance on that one? I don't believe we should harm ourselves just for people to notice us. Harming yourself only conjures up negative images & emotions, and people will only help out of desperation. I try to talk as many people as I can out of it, because life is something that I hold sacred. Nobody should be ignored & feel left out of what this world really has to offer. So think twice before you steal your dad's razors! Because next thing you'll see is me!

I fucking ♥ eyeliner, skinny jeans, studded belts, sexy hair, etc.. What can I say? It's a sexy look, and everyone knows it. I do my own makeup, and I have seen people try to duplicate my look, but they just won't have it the way I do ;] P.S. Boys that look feminine or wear eyeliner, tight jeans, etc.. I <3 you!

Shaolin Kung Fu & Ninjutsu have changed my life. I have trained in the martial arts for 12 years now, and that is a long time to understand what my body is truly capable of, yet I am still learning new things. Never give up on something you start, and always give it your full dedication. You can make amazing things happen if you truly believe in yourself!

I am in love with the piano. I was raised listening to the classical composers, like Beethoven, Bach, Chopin, etc..and I just love the tranquility and beauty that it brings. I taught myself to play for 9 years, going on 10, and hopefully I can make a career out of it. It brings me great joy when others hear my music, and the greatest reward is when they smile.

Anyone asleep yet? Still following me here? Good! I live in the dismal hellhole of California known as San Bernardino County. I gotta say, God must've taken a day off when this place came to mind. This dump is surrounded by disgusting brown mountains, skies choked with smog & other pollutants harming this already fucked environment, and people who can't drive worth a fuck. Yep, this is my San Bernardino County. Note: If anyone ever wants to hang out or get to know me, I am always ready to get the fuck outta here!

I'm a Japanophile, meaning I love absolutely everything about Japan. The fashion sense is amazing, the people are gorgeous, and basically everything we start liking they already liked it before. The ultimate trendsetters. The whole country is like Bizarro world. They do everything we do, just in a really strange way. It reminds me of that scene in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" where they go near Toontown, and you can see clouds of smoke and yelling and fighting and all sorts of haywire shit happening happening above the horizon to signify the complete and total lunacy of the place. Japan is just like that. The whole world continuously scratches its head at the Far East, then sits back and watches to see what wacky thing the Japanese will do next. I mean, the country is amazing once you get past all the incest and pedophilia and giant robots and all, but after that--huh? Japan is a super cool, crazy place. Je t'adore.

Average is not a word that you would find in my vocabulary. To me, average is the same as typical, and I ride against the tide. What? I rhymed? Pshh... I am everything else BUT typical. I strive for uniqueness, to stand out in the crowd. One day, my name shall be emblazoned across the stars, and everyone shall know me. Believe it!

Everyone has dreams and aspirations. I have nightmares & shattered memories, but that doesn't stop me from obtaining my goals. My dream is to one day see people smile..Not one of those fake, painted on smiles, but a real smile. The kind that makes you believe in the world; The kind that makes you warm on the inside. Then, I believe, the world will know true happiness. The meaning of what it feels to be alive. Far too many of us live behind curtains, never taking center stage. There is ALWAYS time to shine. Just believe in yourself, and you can climb the highest of peaks. Remember, this is YOUR life. And it is you who holds the thread of your fate.

People often ask me: Do you drink? Do you smoke? Drugs? You wanna know my take on it all? I love to drink. I don't do it as much as most of these booze hounds, but once I drink we are going to have one hell of a time! If I smoke, it is a VERY rare occurrence, like having a great president in this country. And I'll occasionally smoke pot if I must, but that's pushing it. But what you do is your business. So if you like to whack off to Pamela Anderson in a gorilla suit, then by my guest. Just don't make me try to do that!

Sex. Everyone is doing it. Yep, I am too. I haven't been a virgin since I was 14. If you wanna know, I am a very sexual person. If I'm horny, it is quite obvious, let's just say. Especially since I wear skinny jeans, which by the way accentuate my curves & bulges. But that's saying too much. I'm gonna leave more to the imagination. Just thought I'd touch basis on all aspects of me. No, that doesn't make me a whore. I just enjoy enjoying physical pleasures whenever it comes up. xD! Talk about an innuendo, huh? You wanna see a whore? Go to downtown San Bernardino at night and you'll see a whore. Not the Julia Robert ones, either. Note: Pretty Woman was a whore's fantasy. Yes, it is true. All whores wish to one day be swooped up by a Richard Gere look-alike and seduced into not being a whore anymore with dreams of grandeur.

I say 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'adorable' because there is beauty in everything in my eyes. I see beyond what others see, trying to discover what others have not. I have a very active imagination, but I can decipher reflections from reality.

I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, purple, red, white, blue, black, white..When I talk with you, I see the beauty within. No one is better or worse. We all have our strengths & weaknesses. It's time people realized this and got past our apparent differences. Be proud of what you are! I know I am very much so.

I honestly think it is quite stupid when people on here say, "Oh, we're gonna be together forever!". I'd hate to break it to ya, but it's mostly just the sex that keeps people held together. Real love is hard to find these days, and it surprises me how people are so eager to spend the rest of their lives with someone they barely know. Come on, seriously. Enjoy your youth! Be free!

I have an ongoing philosophy on life, and it constantly changes everyday, like the sands in a desert storm. One day I may say or do something, but the next day I may change the way I present it or the way it is perceived. I love proverbs and wise sayings, and I tend to make up my own. I always know what to say to make someone smile or say "Wow..You're so sweet". And it makes me feel whole on the inside. To know that I am the cause of someone's happiness. Doesn't that feel great?

When I say something, I absolutely mean what I say, unless I am angered. But always, always believe me. I am 100 % truthful, but I'm also blunt as fuck. I'm not afraid of going where others tend to overlook. I'm very well-opinionated, and I always say what is on my mind. Why shouldn't I? You wouldn't know how I really felt if I didn't fully express myself. I give many compliments to people I don't even know, because I strive to make others smile & happy. Even going so far as to place their happiness above mine.

The things we do today make us who we are tomorrow. Every second we live our own histories, so I believe in making everything count. Nothing in life is permanent, because every beginning has an ending. So why does anything even matter? Because it does. We are all here to make a difference. Some are merely a ripple upon the lake. But even a small ripple can turn into something large. Maybe one day someone will reflect upon these words, as I hope, and make the best out of life.

People say I'm kind, caring and sweet..yet I do have a bad temper when I am pissed off. I don't get violent, but my words can be as sharp as any dagger. And I can be VERY vengeful..don't be foolish to incur my wrath!! I always speak my mind, and if I have something to say I damn well will say it!

If I make fun of you, it is just playfulness. I love all people, because I don't live in a closed world. My mind is open 24/7, kinda like McDonald's but without the crappy service & mostly Spanish speakers lol We all need to be more open and accepting if we are to share this world. Remember, you are the future.

And as for love & romance? L'amour est amer; Il capture nos coeurs, mais peut écraser nos rêves. Je tread torride avec prudence dans ces eaux. That's all I have to say ;]

Help me as I drown in my own insanity, caught amidst the waves of my mind. I go through many hardships, as we all do, yet things have gotten better. Thanks to the many wonderful & amazing people out there who have made a difference. My heart is fragile like the wings of a butterfly, so please be respectful of me & the feelings that I express. I am not a mean person, honest I'm not.. It means so much more & it shows me that the world isn't completely without salvation.

Isn't it a sad thing when you can see the world for what it really is? When you see people for what & who they really are? That is why many of us walk around with closed eyes..being blinded to the truth is better than being awakened. Sleep well, misguided ones.