| I realize that I am not perfect and not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what I am, and that’s ok. I now know the importance of loving and championing myself. I now have self –approval and with that everyday I gain more self confidence. I find myself complaining less. I no longer blame other people for the things they have done to me or didn’t do for me. all I count on with people is the unexpected. People don’t say what they mean and mean what they say and not everyone will always be there for me. It is not always about me. I learn to stand on my own and take care of myself and in the process I have a since of safety and security. I stopped judging and pointing fingers. I now accept people as they are. I overlook their shortcomings and am content in finding forgiveness. I found that it is truly in giving that I receive. There is so much power in creating and contributing. I no longer maneuver through my life as a consumer looking for my next fix. Today I have principles such as honesty and intergrity.They are the mortar that hold together the foundation upon which I am building my life. I know I don’t know everything, it’s not my job to save the world. However it is my job to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries. Knowing when to say no. The only cross I will bear is the one I choose to carry. Love, I thought long and hard about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. I look at relationships as they really are and not as I would have them be. I have stopped trying to control people, situations and outcomes. Alone dose not mean lonely. I stopped putting my feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring my needs. Feelings of entitlement are perfectly ok. It is my right to want things and to ask for the things I want. Sometimes it is necessary to make demands. I have come to the realization that I deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and I won’t settle for less. For the most part I get in life what I believe I deserve and much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly I know that in order to achieve success I need discipline and perseverance. The only thing that I fear today is fear itself. I am able to step right into and through my fears because I know what ever happens I can handle it. To give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on my terms. Life is not always fair, I don’t and won’t always get what I think I deserve. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. On these occasions I know not to personalize things. I deal with all evil in it’s most primal state - The ego. Negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment are understood and redirected if not they will suffocate the life out of me and poison the universe that surrounds me. I am thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things I had once taken for granted. Things like: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and a long hot shower. I have begun to take responsibility for myself by myself and I made myself a promise to never betray myself and never to settle for less then my heart’s desire. I make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in my heart and God by my side I have taken a stand and I have begun to design the life I want as best I can. |
