KriticalFailure

YOU SAID IT DUMBASS.

oh plz. you've said worse things. "yeah i'm gay. and my asshole is so loose that poo falls out. and i have to tie a garbage bag around my ass so that shit doesnt get everywhere. then when we're done i have to run to the bathroom. i didnt know so much shit could fall out"

it makes me lul

Once upon a time there was a boy and his name was Mike. Now, Mike was not your average "boy", he was more of a mutant penis head. He had a neck as long as a sperm whale shaft and a 'head' the size of Australia. Now me, being nothing but the nicest person, I tried to befriend this odd boy. He and I went to the park one day and I tried holding his balls-hand. Boy, was that disgusting. He had little sea urchins (God only knows how they got there) festering inside the wounds from his syphilis that were contaminating his whole premises. Not to mention he needed a good shave. I might as well had been befriending big foot and trying to hold his hand. Anyway, I digress. So Mike and I went to the park on that fine June day. To my surprise he tried to skeet on me! It looked like the waste from a bio hazard dump site coming out of his mouth. I wasn't exactly sure if he was trying to vomit on me, skeet, or give me the plague. To put it plainly, it went a little something like this: Mike: "So, you're a very sweet girl for holding my hand." Me: "Yeah, I might as well cut it off when I get home." Mike: "That's not very nice /cry" Me: "I don't give a fuck you festering ball of STD puss. /slap" Mike: "OH NOES YOU DIDNTTT. /dropkick" Me: "FUCK YOU YOU UGLY PIECE OF SHIT. /slapslaplsap /whirlwindkicktotheface" Mike: "FEEL MY WRATH RAWR BWAHAHAHAHA /slimeskeetallovahurface" Me: "NOOOOO /burns with acid sperm" Now, I'm disfigured. Thanks to this asshole. :[ BAHAHAHAHA. <3