lady_maleficus

If you's a hatuh', get froggy, bitch. JUMP

For the past 6 years, I have fought this battle. A battle in which I will either prevail, or fall for good. So, let me start by telling the basics:

Things are constantly changing. That's the way it is. I am a ticking time bomb, and even the slightest wrong touch can make me explode. My mind is complex; It works in many different patterns. Whether that be seclusion, or something else. Hence the reason I tend to enjoy the company of myself more so than I do others. Just recently, I have actually gone out and maintained my social life. Where as before hand, I wanted nothing to do with the out side world. I wanted to sit back, and simply watch the world go by with each passing day. However, I enjoy myself, and most certainly, my life- No matter how badly people may think of me. And in order to maintain such a blessing, I must do something to fullfill every goal I've set for myself.

I want to attend college for cosmetology. For those of you who are unaware of what that is, simply use your handy dictionary. You may find it helpful. Half of you need to expand your vocabulary as it is. So, you may thank me later. I am a model, as you might have noticed due to photgraphs in my album.

I am a complex individual. My moods tend to vary each day. When I said I was a ticking time bomb, I meant it. I do have anger issues, but that's not what's important, is it? We all have our 'issues', so don't act like a fucking saint. Sure, you may judge me simply by what I've shared with you, but what you must realise is you, my friend, are no better than I. You have just as much to worry about as myself, even if they don't seem as extreme. I am a rude individual, though I do tend to have a soft spot for my friends. Well, the loyal ones, anyways. Not these social parasites running around which could also be referred to as 'two-faced'. I have no time for liars. And to be quite truthful, 90% says I don't like you. So, before you start trying to get all friendly with me, know that I take absolutely no interest in your coy attempts to get on my good side. It's going to take alot more than what you have to dish out. I find the majority of humanity unreliable, and quite frankly, I most likely find you just as worthless. But, don't let my entry here fool you into believing I'm some anti-social monster. No. I just simply like to keep my social life at a certain level.

I get people everyday coming up to me with random conversations. And me being absolutely oblivious as to who they are, they always seem to know who I am. Which, I'm certain about the reasons behind that, but I'll leave that section alone for now.

I went through a stage where I was certainly dependent. Dependent on something which I now see as something I could have done much better on. But, we all make faulty mistakes. Truth be told, that part of my life I now see as insignificant. Back then, you could have told me anything, and I would have probably just ignored your warnings. I was naive. I was blind. I was fooled into believing in something that never even existed. Ever heard the saying "burning the bridges down"? That tactic, I have found to be very useful to me. I have burned down several bridges, as far as that's concerned. Bridges that will never be rebuilt. I wouldn't even if I wanted to. I am passed the nonsense, the childish behaviour, and the madness which turned me into what I am now. No one is worth putting yourself through that kind of torture. Whether you believe it or not, you need no one. You owe.. no one. For those of you stuck in the mind set that you need your significant other to survive; You're fucking stupid. With that kind of mindframe, you might as well just go ahead and kill yourself. Because quite frankly, nothing lasts forever. Nothing. What happens when that part of you breaks off, and you've become so dependent on it, it drives you insane? You fail. That's what happens.

I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I possess something no one else in this world could ever have; My own persona. There is not a person out there even remotely close to me. I'm happy with that. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this fucking world. I regret nothing. I've learned from every single mistake I've made. truth be told; It's made me something so much more than what I was. I love every bit of it, too. I am hateful. I am spiteful. Nothing you can say or do will make me change that part of me. To put it in simplest terms; I hate the majority of you. Very few of you, do I actually 'love'. And when I say love, it doesn't mean I'm inlove with you. It just means I care enough about you to give a shit what happens to you. However, fuck me, and I'll fuck you twice as hard. Some of you know that first hand experience. ;) But, I'll leave you to find that out for yourself. I guarantee you won't like the outcome.

With that, I leave you to your miserable little lives. With hopes that maybe one day, and soon, you'll come to face reality that you are, infact, a worthless human being. I am no longer here.