MCeditall

"Every morning around three I go outside to my motor vehicle and sit. I recline, listen to A Perfect Circle, and grab a Swisher. In this time I think. I think about life. My past, the present, and the future. I think about the people I've met, the people who have let me down, the people I've let down, and everyone else. I find it interesting how an act such as breathing in and out can get boring. But I do it often. The night time chill gets me. Every night I remind myself of the past, and the word love crosses my mind almost every minute of the day. But those few moments out in the car, that's where it all comes out. I'll look at the moon and wonder if anyone else is looking at it in that moment. Probably a stupid thing to do but for me it's an inevitable thought. Meanwhile Maynard is telling me exactly what I'm feeling at the point in time that I'm feeling it. the same thing every night. I try to convince myself that things change, but I also wish so hard that I could go back. Going foreword is good though. It makes looking back that much better. I can't help but laugh at myself for thinking the things I do. I also find it funny, the things I've gone through. The kind of occurrences that make you want to punch yourself in the face, only because knocking someone else's grill in would only make you the bad guy. Although things often turn on you to the point that you're the cause of the problem anyway. We are always the bad guys. In our minds at least. But I sit out there. I often look at the passenger seat which is unoccupied. Maybe it will be filled by a warm body someday, a warm body that want's nothing more than to speak without saying any words. But for now I sit in the moonlight. Conversing with the crescent moon for another morning."