Born in a sod-covered house in rural Minnesota, Ian always knew he was destined for something greater. At an early age, he realized that he could read the minds of dogs and other small mammals. During his teen years, he spiraled downward, experimented with huffing epoxy, acetone, and gasoline. After spending a number of years homeless and listlessly roaming the streets of St. Paul, he ran off with a geek troupe in a traveling circus. Fast-forward to today, Ian runs an underground speakeasy and casino with his wives of eight years, conjoined twins Marlene and Dorlene Soo Hoo. They have three children: Banjo, Sheriff, and Puma.