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I don't believe paragraphs and such can really define someone or even scratch the surface of who they really are...but oh well, i'm gonna write something anyways. I doubt anyone's going to read this...which is fine. I think people walk around with their eyes closed. When I see people on the highway driving to work, that is all that's on their mind. Wake up, go to work, make money, knock someone up, get married, have the kid, get old, pay too much money to see their favorite band from high school all those years ago, have a drink now and then, keep in touch with old friends...die. Did you know that we see everything upside down but our eyes flip it right side up? Or that we are moving 36,000 miles an hour on a gigantic ball of crushed compacted mass spinning around in a universe that may be contained inside of a string, inside of a neutron, inside the nucleus of an atom, inside the cell of a snowflake falling to the ground in an alternate universe? String theory...look it up. I believe in God. I believe that our minds are too perfect to come about due to some one-celled organism crawling out of a puddle of slime billions of years ago, then somehow magically evolving into a full scale living, breathing, free thinking, intelligent, loving, creature such as us. People who can tap into something metaphysical. Transcend physicality and access parts of our universe that are not seen, heard, or felt...I'm sorry. But that is no mistake. And if you think it is, then you are just as blind as everyone else. I am far from perfect. I can't focus on anything that doesn't interest me. I have had my share of mess ups. Gnarly ones and not so gnarly ones. It's impossible to watch a movie with me that I've already seen, cause I'll ruin it for you. I never sleep, it causes me to see things that aren't really there, and run into things. I say things without thinking about it. True or not...I don't mean it. I am always late everywhere...I don't mean that either...It's all just a weird subconscious thing dug deep in my character, it's called irresponsibility. I'm getting better at it. I have a habit of making everything sound way to tragic. I view life in a generally negative light, which is called pessimism. I am a vegetarian simply because gnawing flesh is completely unattractive, and I hate to see poor defenseless animals suffer. Not because it’s trendy, because it’s humane. People have told me how I have that "freak you" attitude. I really don't. Actually, I think I tend to be too nice. I'm a mad friendly person, I really am. I'm not another bitter cold person who doesn't give a crap about what you have to say. If you're worth something to me, like deeply too, then your opinion will pierce me...pretty freaking bad. I won't change, but it'll hurt. It really would. Honestly, i'm just waiting for the day when the world caves in. I'm not just saying this because I feel like it; i'm dead serious about this. On that day, i'll sit back and watch flames eat the flesh of every person who's messed with me. We've all done enough to make this place a living hell. I feel we've all f'd up, and we're all just making this place worse. Worse to breathe in, worse to grow in, worse to love in, worse to live in. This society has gotten people Messed up. Cause in this society, without 'the look', you're nothing. In this society, to love who you want to is a disgrace. In this society, mistakes are never forgiven. In this society, different is disappointing. In this society, labels automatically define you. In this society, potential is limited. In this society, impressing is all that matters. In this society, perfection is all they seek. We've made our own suicide chamber, and we're living in it. I've been through hell and back. I spill crap, trip and embarrass myself. I can't just flutter my eyes and get whatever I want. My life is messed up, I've been through way more than you see on t.v. Nobody's perfect. I've been lied to, cheated on, and had my heart stolen. I've messed up, been messed up, and messed people up. But every hit was worth it because I felt it. I knew it was real. Life is real. and I'm living it wrong everyday. I'm f'ing up royally, and I do everything in reverse. But, will I regret one single thing? Never. Because at one point, what I did was what I wanted and I got my satisfaction from it. My life is mine and no retards or immature people can mess it up for me anymore. I'm the real deal and I'd love to see you try and freaking break me. |
