Good Evening Homosexuals, I am known as Jonathan, and I must admit that a rather strong, negative feeling overwhelms me when I find myself in your presence. Verily, it has become apparent that your group has a weight problem, a rather low I.Q., and suffers from various antisocial disorders, perseverating on an obsession with photography analysis. Your existence is culturally bankrupt and socially infectious. Now, be truthful: do any of you know the ways of a woman? I can understand that such weak egos may lead to public harassment, but the actions committed here are appalling. Such behavior exceeds the stigma of soiled thoughts when viewing the photographs of acquaintances. I urge all before me to be honest. Attempt an insult, you will find that it is quite difficult. My body and mind are perfectly balanced and completely efficient. I served as the honorable captain of the rugby club, and was one of the most talented members of the polo team in my gentleman's club. If I may inquire, in which activities does the lot of you partake, beyond auto-erotic pleasures in the presence of animated features from the far east? Beyond the aforementioned traits, I have a pristine academic record and a lover whose body was sculpted by angels (her most recent fellation upon my phallus caused an ecstasy greater than all of the queen's gold). Homosexuals such as yourselves would be better off terminating your own lives as a favor to the status quo of the general public. Picture Related: It is me and my lady who partakes in coitus for the sake of a monetary reward. Also, my lover is to the right.

Hé Fagots, Mon nom est Jean, et je déteste chaque simple de vous. Tout le vous est gros, retardé, aucun-lifes ce qui passent chaque seconde de leur jour regardant les images stupides d'âne. Vous êtes tout mauvais dans le monde. Honnêtement, y en a-t-il qui a jamais un chat ? Je veux dire, je devine que c'est amusement faisant l'amusement des personnes en raison de vos propres insécurités, mais vous toute la prise à un nouveau niveau entier. C'est encore plus mauvais que lançant au loin aux images sur le facebook. Ne soyez pas un étranger. Coup juste j'avec votre meilleur projectile. Je suis joli me perfectionne beaucoup. J'étais capitaine de l'équipe du football, et initiateur sur ma équipe de basket-ball. Quels sports jouez-vous, autre que le "cric au loin aux japonais dessinés nus" ? J'obtiens également directement A, et ai une petite amie chaude frappante (elle m'a juste soufflé ; La merde était AINSI argent comptant). Vous êtes tous fagots qui devraient juste se tuer. Merci pour l'écoute. Pic S'est relié : C'est moi et ma chienne

I'm a gay man and I have nothing but fond memories of my time spent in the girls' locker room. As an effeminately homosexual adolescent, I felt very uncomfortable and out of place in the loud, nasty, testosterone-fuelled environment of the boys' locker room, so our dyke gym teacher let me use the girls' locker room instead. All my friends were girls and they loved me, I was kind of their cuddly little gay mascot. But there's always one bitch who'll kick up a fuss, and it's usually the ugliest one in the room. This hatchet-faced shrew called Arlene took issue with my presence, she was all "Oh I don't feel comfortable with him looking at my naked body", and I was just like "Girl, I wouldn't look at your tired ass if it paid me to". She got over herself eventually. Sometimes I would sashay into the boys' locker room and pretend I'd forgotten my schoolbag, then I'd run back to the girls' locker room and tell them about all the small sad willies I'd seen. I also had great fun towel-whipping those bitches until their fat asses were red raw! Lolz.

Well my first gay experience happened like this: I was about 50 yards or so up this path when I noticed a man standing off the side of the path apparently staring into the woods. As I got closer I realized his pants were down around his ankles and I could see his ass. Now, I'm straight but I have to say that it was a really nicely shaped ass for a man and I took notice. I figured maybe he was drunk and just peeing in the bushes, so I started to walk quieter so I wouldn't disturb him. But as I got closer I started hearing strange grunts and sucking sounds. I realized there was another man blowing him. Now, I'm not gay but I slowed my pace down to watch. I slowed and approached the standing man from behind. His friend didn't take any notice as his eyes were tightly closed. I came right up behind the man standing so that I could have reached out and touched him. That's when I brought the cinder block down on his head, hard. He collapsed on top of his faggot friend and I quickly finished them both off. I rolled them into the bushes and finished my walk. That was only my first of many such gay encounters.

I like to wear a elaborate Jar Jar Binks costume and mask as part of my every day life. I went to the grocery store, and saw how depressed everyone was so I thought I would help. I started dancing in the aisles, and yelling at people, and running up to people and taking things out of their cart. It was great fun. Then when I went to check out, there was only one lane open and a long line. I screamed and screamed while in line and danced, bumping into other people. I opened a box of baking soda and threw it around. Finally I got to the checkout. I started making noises at the cashier, and I kept pressing buttons on the computer. Some people in line were groaning because the line was getting very long, but that gave me even more incentive to make them laugh. I climbed onto the table and started kicking peoples groceries on the floor and singing. The manager and one of his goons pulled me off and said I could never shop there again. Can I sue for harassement or possibly assault?

I'm an Alpha male /b/. And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that? Yeah, I'm fucking her. The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish? Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder. The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her? Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

FUCK YOU NINTENDO. I PICK FUCKING "MATCH MY RANK" AND YOU PUT ME UP AGAINST A FOUR STAR GOD DAMN IT FUCK YOU! I'M A FUCKING TWO STAR. FOURSTAR DOES NOT MATCH A FUCKING TWO STAR! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU GOD DAMN CHINKS?! YOU MADE THE FUCKING WII, NOW MAKE YOUR ONLINE SYSTEM OPTIONS FUCKING WORK. I'M TIRED OF SETTING IT TO MATCH MY RANK ONLY TO FIND IT NOT MATCH MY RANK THEN GO DOWN A RANK BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKED UP SYSTEM. GOD DAMN IT. FUCK YOU NINTENDO. I'LL NEVER BUY ANOTHER GAME FROM YOU AGAIN. AND I'M GOING TO BOMB JAPAN TOMORROW. HOW ABOUT THAT, NINTENDO?

When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.