Sunday Quickie Sunday Quickie: The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation... There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted. A few moments passed... "An ambulance just went by". A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike..." A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving". "Jason is on his skate board..." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!" Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?" Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning. About 9:00 p.m., he finally said to his wife,"Dear, I think I've come up with the perfect sermon! I'm going to give a sermon about horseback riding!" She said, "Don't be silly! You can't give a sermon about horseback riding!" He replied, "Well, it's going to have to do because I've preached on just about every other subject I can think of at church." The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, "I can't believe that you're still insisting on doing this! You know, if you're going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding, I'm just going to stay in the car during the service." He said, "OK, then, suit yourself!", so she stayed in the car! Entering church before the service, the preacher had a sudden inspiration and gave a hellfire and brimstone sermon on SEX that just had the congregation in awe. As the congregation filed out of the church, some of the members saw his wife sitting in the car and approached her window. One of them said, "Wow! You just missed the best sermon your husband has ever given!" She said, "Yeah, right! What does he know about it! He talks big, but he's only tried it twice in his life! Once, before we were married and once after........... and he fell off both times."