I am an architect of agony, purveyor of pain, sower of suffering, distributor of distress, a sadist. This means that I want to hurt you, your mother, your cousin, your children, your bookkeeper, your therapist, your mailman, your dentist, and anyone else that you know. It does not mean that I want your consent. It does not mean that I want you to enjoy it. Anyone having difficulty with this needs to purchase a hardbound unabridged dictionary and be beaten across the head and face with it until they obtain the definitions through the process of osmosis. More fun facts: I hate you. I was born and Raised in Washington State. I really do hate you. I am a skeptic and atheist. I once blew a crater in my parents yard. I worked as a bouncer just to see what it would be like. I hate Keanu Reeves even more than I hate you. Every time I hear people talk about D&D I cringe. I have a dog that is smarter than the people I used to work with. I once had a cat that drowned in the family pool. I find myself hating you even more as time goes by. I am a Libertarian. I am a nihilist. I don't expect you to give a damn. I am an avid reader. I suspect that you were dropped on the head at birth. I don't watch sports. I think that full contact chess should be a sport. I used to wrestle in high school. I love showing up at renaissance fairs wearing regular everyday clothing. I prefer 9mm over .45. I still hate you. You, and Keanu Reeves.