almost-lovers

i'm as pretty as a car crash, sexy as a stinger from a hornet in my arm, just another modern swinger. screaming, "catch me if you can," with a cigarette in hand, and it's love. it's heavy, and it hurts, but it's love. my name is lavern. sounds like a plant, i know. people say i'm hideous, but my mom doesn't care. she still feeds me yummy snackpacks even though i'm two hundred pounds overweight. i can't wait til i turn ten cause thats when i get to start working as a chinese prrostitute. hi, me five cents will become my catch phrase and i will die with every std known to man. much like julie. my favorite trannie is jeffree star, though i'm not actually sure what the fuuck his gender is. clue me in? do people even still say that? i'm fly, thanks. obviously, i'm not joking. jesus.